lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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