Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
