Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
