i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
