spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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