Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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