Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
