they need to just BURY HIM!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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