Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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