Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Naked. naked and bneed help.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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