You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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