I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
