Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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