If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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