Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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