Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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