Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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