Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
