You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
