I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
