Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Randomize
