Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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