seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
