i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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