i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
