How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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