That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We got so high we made milksteak
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize