ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
