I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Someone signed my nipple.
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