I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
