I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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