I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
