how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
