well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
