Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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