What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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