Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
