So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
