Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
