just tell him i said nine months
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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