the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We need to get me chipped asap
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
