If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize