Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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