Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am available for nakedness
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
