Umm I'm too high to move.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So much rum. So many feels.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
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