But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
