Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Blood and glitter go together right?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
