Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
