I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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