I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
