I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
