Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
