the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
