And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
