This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
