today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
