He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
