i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
