If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
