I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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