What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
