Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
