i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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